I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
