Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
