I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
