Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
