I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
