I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
