guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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