hotel room ftw
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
