just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
