my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
