we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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