Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
