Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
