flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
