Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
