ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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