He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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