John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
