Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
tell me about the fingering
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