You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
You can't just leave with hair like that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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