she was so not down for the gang bang
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
