My room smells like vodka and shame
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
