ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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