I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
