hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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