Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
