We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
