we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
