She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
