if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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