I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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