sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
