Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
