you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
