Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
