My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
