She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
