Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
