i may or may not be watching the land before time
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
