Dual....:-)
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
