I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
