i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
