do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
