she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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