She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
there is glitter all over my balls
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