Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
