I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
