its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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