that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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