She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize